Author: Steve

Why bother….

… having a website and an email form for enquiries/quotes if you are not going to respond?

I recently emailed a garage that specialises in gearbox work for a quote to replace the Governor seals and accumulator springs on my Saab 9000 autobox because at 120,000 miles I’m starting to get the odd problem (like the gearbox starting in 2nd and then shifting down to 1st).

The procedure to do this is actually quite simple (if you think removing the wheel, hub, wing lining and the end of the gearbox is simple) but I dont have the time, the patience or the necessary workspace to do it myself.

So I fill in the form asking them to quote for the specific work that needs doing… do they reply? Silly question I know – and you just know that the answer is NO.

So why bother putting the sodding form there in the first place. Its all well and good having an internet presence but it doesn’t work if you just sit on your fat laxy arse and dont do anything

Was it YOU?

Were you in the Coronation Square Carpark this time last week?

Were you driving a truck with orange/red paint on it?

Did you clip the rear drivers side of a Blue Renault Clio..

If it was you … BASTARD!! You could have stopped and left your details.

Running off was not the thing to do.. its been reported to the police.. that makes you a criminal… not that you care as you are obviously socially inept.

Pickles

I guess this is a follow on from my bit about the American fixation with cheese. Its the American fixation with pickles.

Try to get a burger.. and if you are lucky enough to get one without cheese then its a sure bet that it will have pickle on it. Pickle seems to have seeped into the diet as a mandatory, yet mainly unnecessary, food stuff (in a similar way to sprouts are to the standard UK Christmas meal).

The “restaurant” in the Interstate Bowling Center in Augusta, Maine actually states on its menu for burgers that they are “served with the infamous pickle”. Served with it yes, but does anyone actually eat the things.. I think not.

Anyway who would want to pickle a cucumber anyway?

DIY – what a pain.

DIY has to be one of the most annoying things in life. We are currently in the middle of a kitchen re-design.. yes you read that correctly.. re-design. We haven’t actually done anything physical (like rip out any cupboards) but its already been one big huge pain… and what is the cause of this pain? Is it the odd shape of our kitchen? No. Is it the fact that we have a range cooker rather than a boring single unit/slot in cooker? No. Is it anything obvious? No!

I’ll tell you what the cause of the pain is – the supplier of the kitchen units.

The story goes as follows:

1. We work out exactly what we need to buy to build the new kitchen
2. We go on line to order it all (free delivery being a big incentive here)
3. Not all of it is in stock – and on this web site if its not in stock you CANT order it
4. I visit the local store and despite them having this specific kitchen type on display (with a “Buy this kitchen today” notice) they dont actually stock the damned stuff.
5. We redesign the kitchen (changing some cupboards to mixed drawers/cupboards) and check that what we need to do this is in stock on the website. It is!
6. I phone the company the next day to ammend the order – I can’t!!
7. So I try to place a second order for the new bits – I can’t because they are now NOT in stock.
8. Worried that its an end of the line range I phone customer services. They assure me its not end of the line.
9. I explain the situation. Customer Services fail to find any one of their stores within 60 miles of Cheltenham that actually stock the damned stuff.
10. As I can’t order it on line I have to order it in store (who can order stuff when its out of stock!!). Its a 6 week lead time for orders from the store!!
11. Whilst in the store I find that if I dont want white cupboard ends but want them to be colour co-ordinated I have to buy new end panels for every exposed cupboard end (so basically replace 50% of the cupboard).. If I want to put a “textured” end panel on rather than just plain wood (bascially looks like planking) then I have to redesign my kitchen as these end units are over 2 inches deep!!
12. When I said the store doesn’t stock it – I mean it doesnt stock ANYTHING to do with it – so if I want pelmeting to go round the bottom I have to order it (6 weeks) then cut it to size..and if I make a mistake its another 6 weeks to get another peice of it..
13. I decide to cancel. Desipte the email that was sent when I ordered the units which states that their customer services department is open on Sunday it very obviously isn’t … not that it tells you that when it first picks up… oh no.. it takes you through several sub menus before it tells you that.
14. I phone them this morning and they dont seem very happy when I want to cancel the order..

Expect to read more in the near future!

…and another thing

.. What is it with Americans and Cheese? Why do they smother everything in the damned stuff? I’m married to an American and she can’t answer the question. As you might have guessed I like cheese but NOT when its cooked – :wierdface:

There you are sitting in a bar and you want something to eat and you browse the menu.. Fancy a burger.. oh look its got CHEESE on it (note I’m not talking about Cheeseburgers here – I guess they have even more of the stuff on them). How about some nice steak tips with onions?… ‘fraid not its covered in cheese..

Arrgggggghhhhhh

Cheese

What is it about Cheese? I went to Tesco the other day to buy some cheese and I found the correct aisle but could I find what I wanted? No! 🙁

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Tesco their Cheese section is divided into “Snackable” “Cheddar” and “Continental”. Thats it… according to Tesco cheese is either Snackable (what ever that means? Surely ALL cheese is snackable.. apart from maybe very mature stilton) Continental (not sure if this means just mainland Europe or is a generic “from other continents”) or Cheddar.

So where is the Wensleydale (assuming Grommit has not eaten it all)? Where is the Double Gloucester? Where is the Red Leicester 😕 😕 😕

So then I started looking and I found it.. tucked away in the top left hand corner of the chiller unit were some moulded plastic trays bearing the words “Domestic Cheese”.

DOMESTIC CHEESE 😮 I dont want DOMESTIC Cheese – I want real WILD, FARMYARD cheese – lets face it Cheese comes from cows which CANNOT be described as Domestic animals in any shape or form .. Go and fetch my slippers… Daisy … I think I’ll take the cow for a walk ..

Madness all of it!!!

Steve