Month: January 2013

"Just a dusting"  is what my step-son said when he saw this.

I was walking down to the road to get to Sainsburys and it just looked so grim!

Or do they think the people they are sending their shit to are? No… please do NOT answer that.

Witness this wonderful pile of crap that landed in my spam bucket today:

From: Chief Executive and Permanent Secretary
HM Revenue & Customs – 100 Parliament Street
London, SW1A 2BQ. United Kingdom
Department:  Audit and Risk Committee Team
Telephone: 070 4577 2860 (Int:+447045772860)
Telephone: 070 4577 9897 (Int:+447045779897)
 
Message: Sole Beneficiary
File Code: RC/8366-32
 
This message is to notify you of a very important information which will be of great help to redeem you from all the difficulties experienced in securing your fund payment due to inappropriate documentation of your case file presently forwarded to our agency for correction.During the course of our investigation on the issues delaying the payment of your fund here in United Kingdom, we have reviewed several cases of delayed payments including your records and have approved to release most unpaid funds which includes contract/inheritance funds,Gambling/Lottery awarded funds (sponsored by multinational companies)and other international suspended/withheld funds yet to be paid to its beneficiary's foreign account.

In view of the above, we have immensely sorted out issues with the regional financial units in charge of your transaction and our extensive investigation confirmed that you are the original beneficiary shortlisted to receive an unpaid sum of $15,000,000.00 USD which is presently approved for payment pending your acknowledgment to this information. According to the information received, those representing you have failed to credit your funds into your international bank account and any correspondence in regards to your claim sent to them again, we will not be able to help nor advice you outside our jurisdiction and dispensation of power and duty. Further to this development, we are yet to confirm your original identity in order to be sure that your email address is not hacked or being accessed by an unknown personality and that we are paying this $15,000,000.00 USD directly to the beneficiary's details we have on file. Therefore, we request that you forward a copy of your identification card within 7 working days for confirmation.

This review is being undertaken to ensure that we confirm to the latest regulatory requirement of the Inland Revenue Services before you are issued an application for payment. If your identification card is not received for payment verification within this period, you will never be paid and we will be compelled to seek legal representation from our in-house attorney to terminate your payment until further notice.

For more information, kindly forward all inquires and requirements to us for confirmation.
 
Yours Sincerely,
Ms. Lin Homer.
(Chief Executive Officer).
HM Revenue & Customs.
————————————————————————————–
Disclaimer: The information in this email and in any files transmitted with it is intended only for the addressee and contains confidential and/or privileged material. Access to this email by anyone else is unauthorized. If you receive this in error, please contact the sender immediately and delete the material from your computer. If you are not the intended recipient, any disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken or omitted to be taken in reliance on it, is strictly prohibited.

Dollars? Wasn't this sent from HMRC?
Identify card? What sort of complete and utter bullshit is that? 

And I know HMRC outsource a lot of stuff but I think they make sure the people doing the work can write good English.